Welcome

**This is one person’s story; everyone will have unique experiences on their own path to recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, and symptom use. Please use your own discretion. And speak with your therapist as needed.

Katie Monsewicz is an avid writer and practicing journalist who has been through The Emily Program’s residential treatment program. She wants to help others who have struggled with eating disorders and those who are still struggling through her writing and as an advocate for eating disorder recovery.

When we are young children, our imagination plays with our reality. We watch a movie and suddenly we start reflecting on what happened in the movie. Saying movie quotes, naming our pets after characters, and maybe playing the movie over again in our heads, answering the question, “What if I were a character?”

*Photography by Alex Hsiao and Nancy Linden.

Over the weekend, The Emily Program hosted a community event to celebrate its 25^th anniversary of providing eating disorder treatment and recovery. The celebration took place at our Saint Louis Park location in Minnesota and hundreds of community members, staff, and former clients came out to celebrate with special guests Jessie Diggins, Amy Klobuchar, and Kitty Westin.

Oftentimes, those in recovery have difficulty deciphering what and when they enjoy eating and what and when they don’t enjoy eating due to their eating disorder and the food rules and behaviors that are associated with it. Recovery from an eating disorder involves the difficult process of untangling true food preferences from the restricted and distorted eating patterns caused by the eating disorder. Examples of this include black and white thinking around what should or should not be eaten, excessively rigid rules around the amount or timing of food and the belief that eating certain foods will have immediate and disastrous consequences.

Last night, Jessie Diggins was featured on Kare 11 News to tell viewers about her experience with an eating disorder as a young adult. You can watch the full segment here. 

Nearly a decade before her Olympic gold win, Jessie was facing a life-threatening struggle with an eating disorder. During her senior year in high school, she developed an eating disorder that quickly morphed into something that was controlling her life. At 18, Jessie found herself engaging in disordered behavior and negative, persistent thoughts regarding her weight.

Lauren Fraley is a yoga instructor at The Emily Program’s Cleveland Residential location. When she is not working or practicing yoga, she is usually cooking, reading, or doing art-related activities.

TEP: Tell us about yourself!
Lauren: I’m the yoga instructor at Cleveland Residential… but I’ve already told a lot of the residents here that I often identify more as their yoga “guide.” I prefer the word guide since there are so many parts of yoga that can’t be “instructed” — only suggested, or given space for. Outside of The Emily Program, I’m also involved in the performing arts as a director, theater-maker, and performer. I love cooking, plants, board games, reading, writing, and collaging!

**Please be aware that this blog covers topics of trauma and abuse. Please use your own discretion when reading and speak to your therapist or support system as needed. If you need someone to speak to about sexual assault or abuse, reach out to RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE. If you need to talk with someone or need help fleeing domestic violence, reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224.

The existence of an eating disorder largely impacts a person’s ability and desire to be in sexual and/or emotionally intimate relationships. In those with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, or OSFED, one of the main symptoms is a concern about body weight, image, size, and/or shape. These body image disturbances and obsessive negative thoughts can create barriers to entering into an intimate relationship or can prevent intimacy in current relationships. Oftentimes, those with eating disorders struggle getting close to others because their eating disorder becomes their primary focus.

In recent years, an awareness surrounding eating disorders has begun to break its way into society, yet there are still misconceptions associated with eating disorders. Although disordered eating is often considered to be targeted at those belonging to the late adolescence or adult demographic, the reality is: they entirely disregard age. Eating disorders don’t discriminate, affecting individuals of all cultural backgrounds, socioeconomic statuses, and age. For this reason, it is increasingly important to begin encouraging your child to develop a healthy relationship with food from an early stage in their life. Conditioning positive perceptions regarding eating will equip them with a healthy attitude towards creating and maintaining a balanced lifestyle as they grow up.

The domino effect of misinformation

Those growing up today ar considered to be the first generation of the new health era. Many of their grandparents grew up in the 1930s and ’40s, an age when nutrition was focused on minimizing meal size. A domino effect was underway, unknowingly passing misinformed relationships with food to their children. Now, as children grow up, there is heightened possibility that they, too, are carrying misperceptions about food and health. This is why we need to alter our attitude towards eating, nutrition, and health.

It’s especially difficult to do this with children, with the focus on various dietary guidelines pediatricians provide for “ideal” growth. Parents may become so strict with nutritional protocols, striving to meet the daily requirements set for their child’s age range, that suddenly eating becomes a mechanical process. Though this parental behavior stems from positive intentions, aiming to ensure their child is healthy, notions that food is something to be carefully controlled and monitored is implicitly being taught. Instead, we suggest parents show their kids that all foods have a place in a healthy diet and that no food is good or bad.  

Tackling stressors early on

Perhaps your child doesn’t show direct signs of disordered eating but does demonstrate symptoms in line with anxiety. Eating disorders exist across varying forms and regardless of the specific behavioral pattern they do manifest into, they are often accompanied by mental health disorders, like anxiety or depression. Once a disordered relationship begins, so does a significant amount of anxiety around food, which may stem from misconceptions regarding nutrition or confusion around what it means to live a healthy lifestyle.

Beginning self-care (as it pertains to eating) early on will enable you to apply an educational approach to your child’s mealtime practices, which can help to negate potential anxiety. In some cases, disordered eating is utilized as a method of coping with other physical or mental health concerns. Recognizing that these illnesses can coexist will help you initiate appropriate conversations to build your child’s bank of self-management tools to maintain positive perceptions of eating.

Reframing the way your child views eating

The most important conversation to have with your child as they begin their relationship with eating is that food isn’t a systematic practice of adding and subtracting but rather, at its roots, the starring role in their self-care routine. Create an open dialogue surrounding nutrition to provide a safe space where they can navigate a balanced lifestyle on their own terms. When you have discussions with your child about eating, refrain from setting strict divisions between ‘good’ or ‘bad’ foods. Rather, place emphasis on the fact that no particular food falls into a black and white category in this way. Remind them consistently that every type of food, regardless of the health stigma attached to it, has a place in their life.  

A positive way to go about this is by making cooking a bonding experience. Framing your child’s learning experience as a fun and caring moment shared between you and them can enable nutrition to be something to look forward to. Tackling the cooking process meal by meal, creating each dish together while actively encouraging your child to include all types of food. Walk them through why occasionally incorporating a cookie as a lunchtime dessert is just as important to their self-care routine as adding plenty of vegetables. Focus on terminology like “nourishing” or “balanced” to allow your child to view a variety of foods as equally beneficial to their lifestyle.

Reframe the way your child experiences life around eating

Health culture throughout the years has fallen into the routine of perpetuating the stressful perception that leading an active lifestyle is our primary tool to managing the food we consume. Help your child understand that exercise and activity should never be solely determined by what or how much they’ve eaten. As with preparing meals, make physical activity a team effort to create positive associations. By creating a direct connection between activity and family or friends, it leaves little opportunity for a connection to food and emphasizes it as an entirely separate sector of their daily self-care routine. Frame food as a nourishing experience that helps your child play more, which provides an exciting incentive around mealtimes.

Food isn’t just fuel, it’s something to enjoy

Beyond the educational components of nutrition, develop warm attitudes towards food that exude excitement, happiness, and appreciation. A common tactic utilized in the restoration of healthy eating habits once a disordered relationship has begun, is that food is necessary to fuel for our bodies. While this is true, it can also lead an individual to view eating as something they need to do as opposed to something they look forward to doing. Eating should never feel like a chore. Help to make each meal feel like a small, celebratory event full of gratitude for its presence in your life, ability to bring loved ones together, and to make life more enjoyable.

If you recognize eating disorder symptoms and behaviors in your child, it is important to reach out for help as soon as possible. Early intervention and support is key to a lifelong recovery from an eating disorder. If you are interested in learning more about The Emily Program, please call us at 1-888-364-5977 or complete our online form.

Cherice Fischer is a former client of The Emily Program who has successfully stayed in recovery for one year and one month. She is also a mom, wife, full-time employee, church and book club attendee, crafter, CrossFit athlete, and a chicken momma who lives a love first, think later life.

Recovery is unimaginable at first. It is an elusive concept that happens to others, not to us. Recovery seems like wishful thinking. And for some recovery doesn’t even seem possible.

Recovery is challenging as you begin to enter it. It still seems unreal, but for a few moments a day/hour/minute it is do-able. Recovery is a shift in thinking, perspective, and actions. And it is the hardest thing I have ever done. Ever.