Welcome

The two letters below were written by (former) clients to their eating disorders. With their permission, we share these letters to inspire others to seek treatment and fight for recovery.

**Content warning: This is one person’s story; everyone will have unique experiences in recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, and symptoms. Please use your discretion when reading and speak with your support system as needed.

By Liz Rognes, a former Emily Program client in recovery. She is a teacher, writer, and musician who lives in Spokane, WA.

A few months after I gave birth to my son, I decided I wanted a pair of jeans. None of my clothes from before pregnancy fit, and I was tired of wearing maternity pants. But I was terrified of the process of finding jeans that fit. My body had changed and was still changing, and I had no idea what size to try.

By Lucene Wisniewski, PhD

Hurst, K., & Zimmer-Gembeck, M. (2015). Focus on perfectionism in female adolescent anorexia nervosa. The International Journal of Eating Disorders, 48(7), 936–941.

Anorexia nervosa (AN) is a difficult illness to recover from for a number of reasons. First and foremost, it’s life-threatening and secondly, the treatments available do not yield high success rates and are in need of improvement.

By Elizabeth Cappers, an intern at The Emily Program

The second I wake up in the morning my mind starts racing…”don’t forget about your appointment today, and remember to finish that assignment for class — you need to do well, and that test coming up—you need to study more than last time because we know how that went…and oh yeah don’t forget to feed the cat, seriously you need to eat breakfast and come on now make sure you’re on time, it’s so embarrassing when you’re late.” Instantaneously I want to throw the covers over my head, close my eyes and disappear from the world as I become filled with an overwhelming and stressful lump of emotions that sits restlessly cold in my throat. How is anyone supposed to get good grades, apply for graduate school, keep up their course load, study, exercise, eat right, have an internship, volunteer, work, hang out with friends, get enough sleep…let alone have one second to even to BREATHE! There are only 24 hours in a single day!

**Content warning: This is one person’s story; everyone will have unique experiences in recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, and symptoms. Please use your discretion when reading and speak with your support system as needed.

By Liz Rognes, a former Emily Program client in recovery. She is a teacher, writer, and musician who lives in Spokane, WA.

My partner and I met in the fall, and, on one of our first dates, he mentioned that he was looking forward to Thanksgiving. He said that his family all gathered together, shared a meal, and people talked and laughed and played games. He spoke with such warmth and genuine appeal; it occurred to me that some people actually enjoy Thanksgiving. I, of course, dreaded it.

I have often wondered why there are so many stigmas around eating disorders. People tend to engage in eating disorder behaviors, whether it’s bingeing, purging, compulsive exercise, or significant food restriction, when they are alone. There is something so profound about this disease that behaviors can only be done in secret.

By Christy Zender, MSW, LICSW

One of the most important elements of your treatment will be having a “good fit” with your provider(s). While “good fit” can mean a lot of things, we feel the most important element of fit is having a good level of comfort with your provider. We frequently talk about uncomfortable and difficult things in treatment so it is important you feel heard and responded to by your provider. All people have different communication styles so it is important that you talk openly about what is and what is not working for you.

Words aren’t the only way to connect to memories and feelings stored in the body. This is why we incorporate integrative therapies, including yoga, into treatment at The Emily Program.

Yoga is a practice of specific postures (asanas) linked with breath while incorporating a focused intention of moving inward for self-exploration or reflection and decreased anxiety and depression. In yoga, the mind is not separate from the body nor is the body separate from the mind. The Breath is the mechanism that bridges the gap between the two. When we discuss yoga here, we are referring to mind, body, and breath. When yoga is practiced with traditional methods, it is a practice of wholeness.