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Posts Tagged “Guest Bloggers”

February 17, 2015

Zumba: An Unexpected Weapon

This is one person’s story; everyone will have unique experiences on their own path to recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, or symptom use. Please use your own discretion. And speak with your therapist when needed.

By Dallas Rising, a former The Emily Program client and woman in recovery

My eating disorder, like so many others, loves numbers. It loves everything from calories to weight to clothing size. But the numbers it really gets worked up about are numbers associated with exercise.

When my eating disorder was at full volume, it would make unending noise about “exercise numbers.” If these numbers didn’t grow (as opposed to the smaller set of numbers that I wanted to shrink), my eating disorder would pummel me with horrible self-image beliefs and I would feel the need to punish myself in order to appease it.

It won’t come as a surprise, then, that part of my recovery plan was to cancel my gym membership.

February 2, 2015

Experiencing Recovery

This is one person’s story; everyone will have unique experiences on their own path to recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, or symptom use. Please use your own discretion. And speak with your therapist when needed.

By Jenn Friedman, a woman in recovery

I want to talk.

I want to talk but I don’t know what to say. I want to say something that sounds purposeful but I don’t want to force it. I want to say something that sounds smart but I don’t want to fake it. I want to say something that will reach the people reading but I don’t know what, at this moment, you’d like to hear. I want to say the right thing, hit on the perfect elemental blend, and in doing so share sacred space with you on this page. But I don’t know how, and I don’t know where to start, and I don’t know how to weave it all together. What I am looking at it is a blank space and I don’t know how to fill it.

I wanted to recover.

I wanted to recover but I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to recover purposefully but I didn’t want to force it. I wanted to recover intelligently but I didn’t want to fake it. I wanted to recover in a way that would let me connect with people but I didn’t know how they would receive me. I wanted to recover the right way, hit on the perfect elemental blend, and in doing so share a sacred community with others in this world. But I didn’t know how, and I didn’t know where to start, and I didn’t know how to weave it all together. What I was looking at was a blank space and I didn’t know how to fill it.

Without meaning to, I spoke. Without meaning to, I started a conversation. Without meaning to, there are more words on this page, and they have meant that I didn’t initially intend to assign them.

Now I know where this is going. Now I see a parallel that couldn’t have existed had I never started – unsure as I was. Now I see that my words have meaning, inspire engagement, and shed light on the heart of a process. Now I can direct it, because I know that important material exists, I know that I created it, and I know I have the power to continue. I choose to go on speaking.

December 14, 2014

Telling Our Truths

This is one person’s story; everyone will have unique experiences on their own path to recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, or symptom use. Please use your own discretion. And speak with your therapist when needed.

By Cami Applequist, a former TEP client and woman in recovery

Telling your own truth out loud is powerful. I have always thought so, but not until I started telling the truth about my own eating disorder did I realize how powerful it actually is.

On the first day of inpatient treatment, I sat with a group of women and said out loud for the first time that I didn’t think I should ever eat and I meant it. I also said out loud that most of the time I hated myself whenever I ate. Then I cried. For the first time, I wasn’t cracking a joke about my weight, making that my humorous excuse for not accepting dessert.

December 4, 2014

Butterfly Love 2

This is one person’s experience; everyone will have unique experiences on their own path to recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, or symptom use. Please use your own discretion. And speak with your therapist when needed.

By Alexandra Miles, a former The Emily Program client in recovery

Self-acceptance and Self-nurturance   

Transcendence from fear to unconditional love is the path of awakening. When we see with the heart, spread our wings, and learn to fly we become beings of radiant light.

The month of December is the month of snowflakes, giving, receiving, and playing. It is the month of unconditional love, light, and joy. When we tap into our hearts and love ourselves unconditionally we can spread love and light to our community during a month of dark nights and short days. This month is a month to ignite the light within and shine it onto ourselves and others.

November 6, 2014

What if it’s Not Food You’re Craving?

This is one person’s story; everyone will have unique experiences on their own path to recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, or symptom use. Please use your own discretion. And speak with your therapist when needed.

By Katie Teresi, a woman in recovery

When I was battling against my eating disorder, a five-year struggle that faced me first against anorexia nervosa before swinging into binge eating disorder, I constantly craved food. A starving anorexic, my body screamed for the food I denied it. Later, I stayed up late satisfying my body’s want and perceived need for more, more, more food. On both ends of the spectrum, thoughts of food never strayed far from the epicenter of my mind.

November 4, 2014

Happies

This is one person’s story; everyone will have unique experiences on their own path to recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, or symptom use. Please use your own discretion. And speak with your therapist when needed.

By Cami Applequist, a former TEP client and woman in recovery

In the midst of eating disorder treatment, it is really easy to feel like everything sucks – and that it all sucks really bad. Building an entirely new relationship with food isn’t easy and it involves developing new relationships with family, friends, and the way in which we see the world. So it doesn’t just feel like it sucks, it does suck. And it sort of has to suck – because eating disorders suck and all the reasons they exist suck. But know that it is entirely possible to survive all of the suckiness.

Get help. Find hope.