**Content warning: This is one person’s story; everyone will have unique experiences in recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, and symptoms. Please use your discretion when reading and speak with your support system as needed.
Lisa Whalen has an M.A. in creative and critical writing and a Ph.D. in postsecondary and adult education. She teaches composition, literature, and creative writing at North Hennepin Community College in Minnesota. Whalen’s writing has been featured in several literary journals and edited collections. Her book, Weight Lifted: A Memoir of Hunger, Horses, and Hope, will be published near the end of 2020. For updates and more about Whalen’s writing, visit her website or follow her @LisaIrishWhalen on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Winter is tough, especially in northern states like Minnesota, where 2020 delivered the gloomiest January on record. Meteorologists claim the sun appeared on 3 of January’s 31 days, but I’m skeptical. Maybe I was teaching in windowless classrooms during the sun’s brief peeks from behind gray clouds, but in early February, I couldn’t remember a single yellow ray since mid-December.
What does gloomy weather have to do with eating disorder recovery? For me and many others, a lot.
People who have eating disorders often have co-occurring mood disorders, such as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is a temporary depression associated with lack of sun. Researchers say it’s caused by a vitamin D deficiency because our skin can only produce vitamin D when exposed to sunlight. For me, it’s also emotional. Much like the mental-emotional triggers linked to my disordered eating, it seems there is a link in my brain between winter and depression.
Once our brains form neural networks linking one feeling, image, or idea to a behavior, the former can trigger the latter so automatically that we don’t realize what’s happening—the same way certain mental or emotional triggers can become linked with disordered eating.
For me, the desire to binge on carbohydrates is a sign that something is wrong. If I’ve been eating and exercising in healthy amounts, that sign prompts me to look for another cause. Experience has taught me that from December through March, SAD is the next culprit I should suspect.
SAD symptoms and onset can vary, but this list provides a helpful overview.
Fortunately, SAD is treatable. I’ve compiled a treatment “toolbox” that I draw from according to my schedule and my symptom severity. I’m not a medical professional, but based on research and experience, here’s what I’ve compiled:
Maintaining recovery depends on maintaining our mental, physical, and emotional health. The tools I’ve provided are a good start, but anyone wondering if they’re suffering from SAD or another form of depression should also consult a doctor.
If you are struggling in eating disorder recovery because of SAD or for any other reason, please reach out to The Emily Program at 1-888-364-5977.
Call 888-364-5977 for help now.
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